4 Things I don't Want To Admit....

But will because April tagged me.

1. I stumble. Satan knows my weakness and I know he knows it. I pray for God to show me how to keep him from using my mom and sister to get me upset and in turn talk in a manner that doesn't bring light to God. I am getting better but I still stumble. God is faithful though, He is showing me where I have wronged and allowing me to come back with the words to make things right.

2. I am not the wife I want to be. My hubby is so kind, gentle, loving, more patient than I am, and so giving. I really don't know why God chose to bless me with him but I am so happy He did. There are so many things I want to do to show him how appreciative I am of him but the days just seem to get away from me. I can only do 1 thing when I planned on so many others, etc. I have always prayed for him but I recently read "The Power o a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. There are so many areas that I was not thinking to pray for him in. I am committing to pray for him in all of these areas,  let him know each day how much I appreciate him, and ask God to direct me so that I can be the wife He wants me to be and that Dean deserves.

3. I am scared to have kids. Not because of the pain, body changes, etc. Having lupus I am no stranger to all of that and have a pain tolerance so high that more than 1 of my doctors say childbirth will be a breeze for me. I am scared that I will be too tired, get sick and not be able to take care of my family. That Dean would then have to work and take care of a wife and child. I can't bear the thought of getting sicker and being such a burden that neither of us can enjoy having a child and having work non-stop because of me. 

4. I am scared that I won't have a child. I want at least 1 and I know Dean eventually wants children. I want him to be a father someday but I am not getting any younger either though. I feel we aren't ready with me not having a job, health is great, and we have so much to take care of first (hello, debt). He will be an amazing Dad. I know we can adopt and that is an option we are open to if the Lord leads us there. I just want one our own too. A child with Dean's eyes, smile, and dimples, bestill my heart!  

Man, I hope that wasn't too much of a downer for anyone. I will see i I can come up with something really happy to post about. Don't be worried about us on those things. We both know God is in control and we trust Him with the direction He would have for us. Our biggest want is to be in the center of His will in all we do. 

We're Back!!!!

Yes, we are alive and doing pretty well. I am horrible with blogs as you can see. So much has happened since I last posted. Let me see if I can give you a quick run down.

• June 7th, celebrated our 1st anniversary (maybe I can post some pictures of our day later)


• July, went to Chicago for The Pampered Chef National Conference, celebrated Daisy's 1st birthday, changed primary care doctors FINALLY, celebrated Dean's birthday on the 30th, and on the 31st....100 people laid off from LifeWay and my department of 24 was in that group.


• August, celebrated Maddie's 1st birthday, started teaching New Consultant Training class for our over all Pampered Chef cluster, went to Texas for a vacation and surprise 40th anniversary party for Dean's parents, and got to go back to my wonderul lupus doctor that I hadn't seen in years, began a new prayer/study time or myself and Dean did too.


• September, started visiting diferent churches so we can find where God wants us to serve Him, participated in The Walk for Lupus and earned an ipod shuffle or raising more than $1,195 AND I was able to make it through the entire 5K with my hubby's encouraging words the whole way, celebrated my 33rd birthday and sharing that birthday with Brian (31)/Amy Johnson (twenties), and Bethany (27), then we got to visit with mom and dad Williams again as they passed through on their way to the north east states for a fall vacation.

Now October is here. I have a horrible cold. Still no job, my Pampered Chef team has REALLY taken off though. For that I praise God! Where would I be without Him. He is really taking care of me and Dean and that is why I am comforted. As of today, I now have not 1 but 2 future directors on my team! April and Kerry are doing amazing and so are their teams. Dean is still amazing. I thank God for him daily that He blessed me so by placing this wonderful man into my life. He amazes me every day at how truly loving he is and it just gets better each day. I said I have a horrible cold. It has really taken a toll on me since I am no longer on my other medications to help my immune system (dr ordered). Last night Dean brought me some berries from the store. I wanted to make this recipe from The Pioneer Woman. It isn't hard but I had made these to go with dinner and it was as far as I got. Literally, we only had cheese muffins for dinner. I was wiped out. Dean made it for me, without asking him! I got to eat that this morning and it was wonderful! I took a picture of my spectacular breakfast and added to the top of it....Pampered Chef's Sweet Caramel Sprinkle! Soooo Yummy!

Well, I guess that is it for now. Hopefully we won't be gone that long before we post again. :)